Love 
    and
      
Marriage
                      The Meaning of “Love”

“Love” is a big word in all human civilizations. For all religious disparities, love still plays an essential role in all the world’s religions. Love plays an important role in human lives, especially living in a world of conflicts and aggressions.

What’s the real meaning of the word “love”?

Love involves your emotions and feelings. You love some things and some people. Love, ironically enough, gives you both happiness and unhappiness. When your love is fulfilled, you feel happy; when that love is rejected or unrequited, you then feel pain, which becomes the unhappiness. That, unfortunately, is the reality of love.

Loving others isn’t that easy; loving yourself is sometimes even harder and more difficulty. That’s also the reality of love.

The truth of the matter is that to truly love someone is very difficult, if not impossible, unless you love yourself first.

Self-Acceptance

In a general sense, self-esteem is the positive or negative evaluative perception of self. It‘s a rating of self, based on a partial assessment of current and/or past traits. Many mental health professionals claim that achieving higher self-esteem is the keystone of good mental health. Such claims, however, are dubious at best.

Low self-esteem is self-doubt, often expressed in not asserting oneself in public or at workplace, and not pushing past one’s comfort zones.

To love yourself is self-acceptance, which is accepting who and what you really are -- and not who and what you wish you were (that is, your ego-self). It should also be pointed out that “loving yourself” and “loving your ego-self” aren’t quite the same. The former is loving yourself for who you really are despite all your imperfections; the latter involves loving or craving to be the person you wish you were. “Loving yourself” means you can love yourself as well as others, because they aren’t very different
from you in that they, too, are as imperfect as you’re. On the other hand, “loving your ego-self” means it’s very difficult for you to love others, because you want to distinguish and separate yourself from others; accordingly, others must somehow satisfy your ego first before you can love them. That explains why if you’ve a big ego-self, you just can’t easily and readily love others.

The bottom line: If you can accept yourself as who and what you really are, then it may become much easier for you to accept and love others as who and what they really are.

The Oneness of All Life

Accepting and loving others implies having mindfulness of the inter-connection between people; that is to say, no man is an island, according to the English poet John Donne. This mindfulness leads to love, and then to the awareness of the presence of God or that of a Higher Being. Love is the first step toward spirituality.

The oneness of all life is one of the basic laws of Nature: that is, humans are all inter-connected with one another. This universal moral principle holds the key to true and lasting freedom in living. Without that freedom, you may be forever living in bondage that inhibits any further development of the wellness of your body, your mind, and your soul. Without this wellness alignment, there’s no spirituality in living.

An illustration of the oneness of all life

A pastor from Hong Kong was invited to give a sermon in China. A woman from the congregation asked the pastor if it was "right" to give money to get her son into an elite school. The pastor replied by saying: “Your son getting into that elite school would also imply depriving another child of that same opportunity you’re seeking for your child.”

A year later, the pastor met the same woman, who told him that her son had got into that elite school but without using her kwanxi or "connection." The pastor then said to her: “See, God is in control, if you would just let Him.”

Thinking questions

If you were the woman with the money and the kwanxi, would you have done differently?

Can you see the “connection” between the woman and another individual also applying to that same elite school?

A different illustration

In 2012, a Chinese couple from Hong Kong filed a lawsuit against an education consultant in the United States for $2 million dollars, who promised that he could, but obviously didn’t, get their two sons into Harvard University.

Using “improper” but maybe still perfectly “legal” means to get their two sons into Harvard University might have deprived the opportunities of two other students who might otherwise have been admitted.

That Chinese couple obviously didn’t perceive the “oneness of all life”-they only saw what they wanted for their two sons.

So, understanding the oneness of all life may further make you realize that you aren’t different from others, and that all have different or similar imperfections, not to mention having the same dreams and desires. Understanding this may make it easier for you to accept others and to love them just as you accept and love yourself. Love and inter-connection with others are expressions of the oneness of all life -- a mental attitude that liberates human bondage from the ego-self, which always aims at distinguishing and separating self from others.

Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau

SURVIVE AND THRIVE
IN
MARRIAGE
                                                    LOVE BEGINS WITH SELF-ACCEPTANCE

Self-acceptance is an important component in the art of living well, including having a healthy marriage. Self-acceptance has much to do with your thinking mind, which is the hardware of your whole being, controlling what you think and what you do. Mind power is the essence of being. Self-acceptance is one of the ways to increase your mind power.

The world is forever changing, and so are its people. Some of these changes are positive, while others are negative. To survive in this world of changes is to go along with the ebb and flow of the tide of changes, and to make the best and the most out of these changes. In this day and age, the art of living well is to develop strategies not only to adapt your life to these changes, but also to assume personal growth from these changes. In other words, to live well, you must have personal growth that will bring on a joyful and meaningful life, including a healthy marriage.

Personal growth, however, thrives only on your capability to accept yourself. The importance of self-acceptance to personal growth can be explained thus: without self-acceptance, there is no personal growth, and without self-growth, there is no increase of mind power. How can there be self-growth if you don’t like who you are and what you have become as a result of the changes in your life? If you don’t like yourself, you are more likely to ignore or disown self, and so do nothing about it, rather than taking positive steps to change what you don’t like about yourself. In other words, if you cannot totally accept who you are, you are most likely to resist changes in your life, and thus preventing any self-growth.

What exactly is self-acceptance?

Self-acceptance does not necessarily imply “liking” yourself to the extent that you cannot image any change or wish for any improvement. Quite the contrary, self-acceptance empowers you to initiate meaningful changes into your life to transform what you don't like about yourself. Self-acceptance means you care less about what others think of you, but more about accepting yourself as what you are temporarily, while being conscious that any positive change will be forthcoming if you so desire it.

In this world, “withholding love” is a powerful tool that you can apply to others as well as to yourself. When you were a child, your parents might have used that tool to discipline you, and, knowingly or unknowingly, have shaped you into what you are now, or what you have become—feeling inferior or inadequate, and always looking for approval from others. On the other hand, if you parents have always loved you unconditionally, accepting you for what you are, you will not be seeking approval from others as you grow up. The reason is that you, too, have learned to accept yourself unconditionally through your perceptions of your parents' unconditional acceptance. Remember, a perception is always the reality. If you had acquired self-acceptance early on, it is most likely that you will continue to cherish self-acceptance for the rest of your life,

If, unfortunately, you have grown up in an environment that has made you feel not totally accepted by your parents or your peers, you might have internalized subconsciously throughout your life the need to compensate for that lack of acceptance experienced by you in your childhood and during your formative years as a young adult. As a result, you will always be craving for acceptance by others, rather than self-acceptance.

Conditional and Unconditional Self-Acceptance

The level of your self-acceptance is determined largely by how well you feel you are being accepted by the people who are important to you in your life. That is to say, your own level of self-acceptance is a reflection of your perceptions of the attitudes that you think other people have toward you. In other words, it is all in your perceptions of others' attitudes toward you. An attitude is only a perception of the mind. However, a perception often becomes the "reality." Therefore, changing an attitude about how you view not only yourself but also others' perceptions of you is important in developing your own self-acceptance.

What is conditional and unconditional self-acceptance?

Conditional self-acceptance is feeling "good" about yourself when you have reached a goal that you have set for yourself, such as that of attaining good health. Your "good" feelings, thoughts, or actions make you accept yourself. But that attitude of self-acceptance is conditional in that it is based upon your feeling "good" about yourself. In other words, if you fail to achieve that goal, you cannot and will not be able to accept yourself completely. That kind of self-acceptance in question is only conditional and not voluntary.

Unconditional self-acceptance, on the other hand, is showing a desire to achieve that same goal, which is attaining good health, but without assessing or rating yourself. In other words, the focus is on the desire and effort, rather than on the outcome. In that case, the goal is already a positive one because it has positive attributes—the desire to be healthy and taking correct action to bring that desire into fruition—which are the fundamental values of a human being. Remember, the intrinsic value or personal value has nothing to do with what you do, but only with what you are.

Achieving Self-Acceptance

Achieving self-acceptance is an attitude, which begins with your perceptions of how you view self, and how other important people in your life view you as a person.

(1) Change your perceptions to change your attitudes. Use positive affirmations and subliminal messages to change your subconscious mind in order to change your attitudes, and reinforce them with positive images through creative visualization.

(2) Use behavior to instill rational self-acceptance. For example, look at your own naked self in a full-length mirror:
Examine all the "bad" or distasteful aspects of your physical body, and calmly accept all of them.  Express your desire to change your physical image with a practical plan. Acknowledge that even change will not make you "like" every aspect of your physical body, and that you will live as best as you can live with these undesirable aspects of your physical body.

Reaffirm that your physical imperfections are not you!

(3) Change your own values, because they define who and what you are. Re-define what are the most important things in your life, and reiterate to yourself why they are important to you.

(4) Be mindful of yourself, as well as of others. The more you are mindful of yourself and of others in your life, the more clearly you will see yourself as a human being. Remember, your intrinsic values cannot be measured in extrinsic terms, so do not assess or evaluate yourself, let alone allowing others to do that to you. Remember, just accept yourself unconditionally as who and what you are.

Use self-acceptance as your first step to increase mind power to live the life you have always wanted to live. It is all in the mind, and it is always mind over matter.

Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau
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Starting Your Family and Teaching Your Children About Sex

A marriage isn’t just about two people. Children or step-children may also play a positive or a negative role now or later in the marriage.

Raising children is more than just doing tedious daily chores, such as feeding and changing diapers. Even those daily chores shouldn’t be avoided or ignored because they’re the backgrounds for establishing the relationships with the children, as well as developing the personalities of the children.

Personality and Growth

·Every child has his or her own personality, which is just a reflection of the parent, but is not the personality of the parent. So, be only a role model: always showing your love and your care.

·Spend more time with your children with many open-ended questions to develop their own thinking mind.

·Try not to punish them for any misbehavior by denying or removing any privilege they think they’re rightly entitled to. Instead, demand an apology, either a spoken or a written one. Also, explain to them the truth that no one is perfect.

·Praise them for their good deeds, but with no empty promises that will not be fulfilled.

Passion and Creativity

Every child has his or her likes and dislikes that may ultimately become his or her own passion and creativity.

Passion is the intense desire of the child to do what he or she likes to do, based on the child’s inherent gifts and skills.

Creativity is the self-expression of a child to cope with his or her own inner feelings. It‘s also a mental growth giving the child the opportunity to try out new ideas, as well as a new way of thinking and solving problems.

·Avoid being “over-parenting,” which is imposing on your children your own likes and dislikes.

·Pay attention to your children’s daily interests and material activities. Create space for them to engage in them.

·Observe their activities and show them how to solve the problems arising. It’s important to teach them “never give up.”

·Invent different scenarios for their current activities with different questions for them.

·Give them arts and crafts to develop and pursue their creativity.

·Let them spend more time in nature, which can inspire them with new ideas.

·Create time for your own creativity, such as playing your music, doing some of your own artwork, working on the computer to write poetry or a book. Let your children also see and learn from you as a role model.

Teaching Your Children About Sex

Sex is “a big deal,” especially in a marriage.

Surprisingly, some couples may have more sexual intimacy after several years of marriage. The explanation is that by then they may have much reduced level of stress: better financial environment; children growing up; less worry about conceiving a child. In short, sex can even get better as years go by in a good and healthy marriage.

However, some couples may also cease their sexual intimacy due to: childbirth; pursuing a career; midlife crisis; an out-of-marriage affair. That, unfortunately, is also the reality.

Living together without love or physical intimacy is “living separate lives”-it may also be due to pornography, which is addictive, pervasive, and destructive to the addicts and their respective relationships.

So, it‘s important for parents to educate their children about sex. But how?

·Like building the foundation of a pyramid, teach them about the values of life and living, which are usually dignity, honor, and respect for self and others.

·Growing up and getting married isn’t just about self or just two people: it’s about human relations -- how you relate to others around you. For example, in a marriage it isn’t just about the relationship between you and your spouse; it also involves your children or step-children, the in-laws, and the friends. So, learn to develop good relationships, and teach your children to do likewise as they grow up.

·Relationships are related to emotions, both positive and negative ones. Teach your children to control and manage their emotions and temper tantrums, which will play a pivotal in their subsequent life choices and decisions.

All of the above will define and shape your children’s perceptions and understanding of the meaning and the importance of sexual intimacy when they grow up into adolescents and young adults.

The reality

Remember, just do your best, and let God do the rest. You can teach your children about sexual intimacy, but you just can’t control what they feel and experience in their lives. Controlling only generates resistance and distancing. This applies not only to your children, but also to your spouse. You can share with them what you believe in, but you just can’t make them believe what you believe in. That’s the reality.

Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau

"GETTING MARRIED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY?”

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MARITAL BALANCE AND HARMONY
THE EGO AND MARRIAGE

The ego-self is unreal: it is only a reflection of your own thoughts.  Unfortunately, it is real to you.  Your ego-self is what you think and hope you were. It has been formed over years.

Remember, you are not your mind, and your mind is not you.  The more you identify with your thinking, your likes and dislikes, your judgments and interpretations, the more you become attached to them, and the more you will become controlled by them. There are many attachments in life, such as attachments to careers, to success, and to wealth. They "define" who you think you are; worse, your mind projects them into the future as your desires and expectations to be fulfilled. But only the present is real, and only by staying in the present moment (such as meditation) you can separate the truths from the illusions or self-delusions.

With an inflated ego-self, an individual will require his or her marriage partner to satisfy himself or herself first, before he or he is willing to do the same. That explains how and why the rich and the famous often fail in their marriages.

Those with an inflated ego do not have "genuine" friends, who please them only to satisfy their ego.

So, how do you "deflate" your ego?

Humility is the enemy of  the ego.  With humility, you see your true self, and not someone you wish you were.

With humility, you live in the now, and not in the future. With humility, you see your connection with others, and thus seeing that you are not different from them--that is, everybody is imperfect, with no exception.

With humility, you may intuit spiritual wisdom, which may inspire you with the divine revelation that there is a Higher Being who is in control of anything and everything in this world--such as what goes up must also come down, just as life is inevitably followed by death. With this spiritual self-enlightenment, you may look at your marriage and your marriage partner differently.

The bottom line: Ironically, it is your ego-self that has created unconsciously many problems in your marital life, not to mention your everyday life due to your own attachments.

Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau

MONEY AND MARRIAGE

Money is not just about coins and dollars; it’s about anything and everything in your life that you may have knowingly or unknowingly attached a price tag in your mind.

Money is emotional. So, you must have your money wisdom to navigate that reality by creating your own money beliefs and money habits that may affect your emotions when you feel the abundance or the lack of money.

So, what‘re your money beliefs? Do you believe that money can buy you many things, if not everything? Do you believe in the power of money? Do you think that money can control your married partner?

What’re some of your money habits, such as the ways you earn and make your money, as well as the ways you save and spend your money earned? Do they give you security or insecurity?

What’re some of the obstacles to understanding money wisdom?

You may not attain your money wisdom if you’re already confronted with the following obstacles:

You spend more than you earn. Do you have several unpaid credit cards?

You buy things you don’t need with the money you don’t have. Take a look at your closet, your basement, or your garage. Are they all full of your stuff that you don’t really need?

You think you need more money. You save and save. Money has become nothing but only security to you. Do you always worry a lot about your money insecurity?

You want quick returns and big payoffs for your money. Do you often go to the casino, or buy the lottery?

You go with the crowd when it comes to investment and spending. Do you often go shopping with a group of your dear friends?

You aren’t truthful about money, because you always measure yourself on the basis of money. Are you always conscious of how people perceive what you wear or where you live?

You’re uncomfortable about money, or you hate money because it’s the root of all evils. You never like to talk about money, do you?

To overcome the above obstacles, you must simply do exactly the opposite.

Once you can free yourself from the delusional and irrational money beliefs and habits, you’ll then begin to perceive how money really matters in your life, such that you’ll learn how to sell yourself, how to invest wisely, and how to make more money. You’ll be richer for life-in every way. Once you’ve attained your money wisdom, you’ll then look at money with new perspectives and you’ll know how to make, save, and spend your money.

The reality is that money does play a pivotal role in a good and healthy marriage. But money is also the No.1 cause of divorce.

So, use your money beliefs wisely to survive and thrive in your marriage.

Relationship of love and money

What has love to do with your money?

Like many people, you may think that money makes the world go round. Actually, it’s love that makes the world go round, and not money. Everybody is chasing money and looking for ways of getting more. But without the vital ingredient of love, money will have little or no meaning.

How does love and your money equate?

The whole world out there is nothing more than a “projection” of what you feel inside you. Money is energy just like you, me, and everything else. You can have all the money in the world, and still be as miserable as sin.

Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau
Find out how TAO, the ancient wisdom from China, can help you throughout your marriage journey.
Wisdom from Books to Help Your Marriage
Stress is the source of marital conflicts and even violence.

But the root cause of stress is the human ego, which needs to be gratified first and then sustained no matter what.
The translation and  interpretation of the TAO--the ancient wisdom from China--with reference to the Bible may help you understand better Biblical wisdom, which may help your marriage.
Let go of your ego, and all your attachments that define who you think you are. Let go of your past love relationships.

Live in the now, which is the only reality.
A marriage is "two becoming one." So, you just can't have everything "your way, or no way!"

Not getting whatever you want from your marriage is the cause of depression.
Everything You Need to Know About LOVE and MARRIAGE:
      GETTING MARRIED

Understanding the meaning of "getting married" before you take your own marriage vows. Click here.
  WISDOM IN MARRIAGE

Knowing the meaning of "getting married" is only knowledge. You need the wisdom to put it into practice and application. Click here.
HAPPINESS AND YOUR MARRIAGE

Happiness is a perception of the mind. The happiness in your  marriage is also your own subjective perception.
Click here.
      MARITAL CHANGES

A marriage is "two becoming one" that requires many changes, both desirable and undesirable. So, change yourself and your marriage partner. Click here.
ACCOUNTABILITY IN A MARRIAGE

Accountability in a marriage is the responsibility of the married couple to each other, as well as to every aspect of their marriage. Click here.
       HAPPY PARENTING

A marriage is more than just about two people: it may also include starting  a family. Happy parenting involves raising children the right way. Click here.
  AVOIDING ADULTERY

Nurturing both sensual and sexual intimacy, with  accountability in marriage through constant changes can avoid adultery. Click here.
THE BIBLE AND YOUR MARRIAGE

The Bible can help your marriage by giving you spiritual wisdom from the Word of God. Click here.
THE TAO IN ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING

The Bible says wisdom is everything. "Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding." (Proverbs 3:13)

Without wisdom, there is no understanding.


But why is understanding important?


Without understanding, anything and everything in life may seem paradoxical and inexplicable. It is this mindset that may make many people "not living in reality" -- in their minds they only see "unfairness" and "inequality." This distorted mindset may even lead many to committing crimes and violence: "Why shouldn't I rob them who've the money that I don't have?" or "They too have broken the law, so why shouldn't I do the same?"


Biblical wisdom is about "accountability" to God, which will give you spiritual "understanding." But if you are not a believer, that "understanding" may be irrelevant to you.

Having said that, human wisdom is indispensable in contemporary living. Human wisdom is not the same as acquisition of knowledge; human wisdom is the application of what you feel and understand to your everyday life and living. So, being knowledgeable does not necessarily mean being wise.

The TAO is the profound wisdom of Lao Tzu, an ancient sage from China more than 2,600 years ago. The TAO has survived and thrived for thousands of years for a good reason: it is applicable to anything and everything in contemporary daily life. The TAO shows you all the hows and the whys of anything and everything happening in your life, including the following: growing up, receiving education, earning a living, making money, getting married, starting a family, raising children, staying healthy, growing old, and dying.

The TAO helps you confront all your daily challenges, and live in balance and harmony.

Click here to get your book.

Stephen Lau


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                         Pursuing Your Careers

In pursuing your careers, you may be successful, less successful, or unsuccessful. So, what should you do?

The Less Successful

     Some pursue their careers with many setbacks, falling short of their own high expectations. It is not uncommon that many constantly compare their own acclessomplishments with those of others-leading to the sin of envy, or their feeling of the need to do much more to pursue their success. Thus, many turn to seeking control, power, and even other “illegal” means to guarantee their anticipated success in the future.

An illustration

     Lance Armstrong, the once-celebrated-but-now-disgraced cyclist, had won seven consecutive Tour de France titles and the Olympic bronze medal. Armstrong’s initial success inflated his ego that led to his craving for more future success, resulting in his “wrongdoing”-using performance-enhancing drugs to win all his subsequent races that ultimately brought about his downfall, and he was stripped of all his previous winning titles.
     Any obsession with a man-made identity often leads to the comparison and contrast of self with others that only further distorts the perceptions of reality in living in the human mind.

What the TAO says about the less successful

·Never compare yourself with others: you are who you are, and not who wish you were. Comparison only creates low self-esteem, envy, and other human flaws.
·Life is about doing. Over-doing generates unreal expectations and wrong judgments that only lead to failure in your doing.

The Unsuccessful

     Sloth is human laziness. Sloth is your failure to do things you are supposed to do. There is no such thing as “free lunch.”
     We are all created in this world for a purpose. Given that we are all somehow inter-connected with one another, what we do or not do will affect not just ourselves but also others as well.
     Reality in living is about only two things: “being” and “doing.”
     “Being” is about who you think you are-your self-beliefs, your life passions, and your core values.
     Do you have an education or the skills to earn a living? If not, then you must do something about that? If you have the self-belief of your own incompetence or incapability, then you have only two options: one, changing your pre-conceived mindset about what you can and cannot do; the other, self-acceptance, which is accepting who you really are and all the consequences of being who you are meant to be, whether you like it or not.
     The first option means you must now change yourself no matter what. Life is all about changes and getting wisdom from those changes. Without changes, nothing can or will be done. The second option means you are willing to do a low-paying job, such as working at the checkout of a grocery store. So, you must accept the fact of doing a low-paying job working with long hours.
     If, on the other hand, you want to earn a living not by doing a low-income job but by starting a business, you must have your own innovative ideas that make you “think out of the box.” To turn your business into success, you must demonstrate your passion, motivation, perseverance-they still require your doing, and not just your talking or dreaming.
     So, your doing is your reality in living.
     The reality is that the unsuccessful in their career pursuits due to the sin of sloth-not doing what they are supposed to do-often feel low self-esteem, isolation, and separation from others. To them, life has little or no meaning, and they just drift in and out every day without a purpose. Many have even become vulnerable to committing crimes and violence.
     But the truth of the matter is that some of the unsuccessful can still transform themselves and turn their failures into success, if they really want to.

An illustration of persistence and perseverance of the unsuccessful

     Christopher Paul Gardner is an American businessman, entrepreneur, investor, author, and philanthropist.
     In the early 1980s, Gardner was very poor and homeless; he was often sleeping on the floor of a public toilet. Gardner never dreamt that he would become a multi-millionaire one day. His very inspiring life story was even made into a hit Hollywood movie, starring Will Smith: “The Pursuit of Happyness.”
     Gardner was brought up with the belief that he could be anything that he wanted to be with his doing. He was homeless, but he was not hopeless. He often dreamed of wealth and success, and his dreams were not mirages. Because of his right doing, he made his dreams come true.
     Initially, Gardner made his living by selling medical equipment. He did not make enough money to make both ends meet, and his poverty made him homeless for a year.
     Then, one day, Gardner met a stockbroker in a red Ferrari, whom he asked for internship. Gardner’s incredible drive, persistent endeavor, and sustained enthusiasm finally got him his internship.
     After his internship, Gardner applied for a position in that investment firm. On the day before his interview for that position, Gardner lost his shirt and clothing. Nevertheless, he still attended the interview even though he was not “appropriately dressed” for the occasion. It was Gardner’s “determined doing” that got him his job.
     Gardner had a successful investment career, and he finally opened his own investment firm, Gardner Rich & Co.
     More than two decades later, after the death of his wife, who challenged him to find his own true happiness and fulfillment in the remainder of his life, Gardner then made a complete career change. He became a philanthropist and a remarkable motivation speaker traveling around the world, focusing not on his own wealth, but on humanity and helping others to get their happiness through doing what needs to be done.

An illustration of change and transformation of the unsuccessful

     Shon Hopwood was a young man who had his passion for basketball, earning him a university scholarship. But later, when he realized that he was only a mediocre talent in basketball, he then became disillusioned and dropped out of his class. Hopwood’s failure and frustration made him become involved in bank robberies in Nebraska that landed hm in prison for 12 years.
     While in prison, Hopwood became interested in the law, and began helping prison inmates to write their petitions to the Supreme Court for legal justice. In 2009, Hopwood was released from prison, and he continued his passion and pursuit for law and order. In 2015, he became a licensed attorney. As a criminal justice advocate, he has written much about the need for federal sentencing and prison reform.
     Now, Hopwood has become a law professor at Georgetown University Law Center.
     Remember, nothing is set in stone. You can always turn your talent-no matter how insignificant it may seem-into a success.

What the TAO says about the unsuccessful

·Always focus on your doing, and not on the outcome.
·Do what needs to be done. Change what can be changed and accept what cannot be changed. The secret of the TAO is to be who you really are, and then embrace anything and everything.

“The Way to the Creator is deep-rooted.
Unmoved, it is the source of all movements.
Stable, it enables us to act without rashness.

So, whatever we do, we do not abandon our true nature.
The world around us is riddled with worries and distractions.
We remain stable, steady, and steadfast.

We do not let ourselves be blown here and there.
Otherwise, we lose touch with who we really are;
or, worse, who the Creator is.”
(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 26)
·Have an empty mind that nothing is set in stone, and that you can turn anything around.
·Over-doing is controlling, which is not The Way of the TAO. Just trust the unknown and follow your self-intuition.

“Letting go of control,
we no longer strive and struggle.
Without strife and struggle,
there is no resistance.
Without resistance,
there is no suffering.

Living in the present moment,
we see all things that we must do.
Without complaint and resistance, we do them accordingly.
Without seeking control and recognition,
we simplify what we do, however complicated they may be.
Trusting in the Creator, we always under-do and never over-do.”
(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 30)
·The secret of the TAO is to be who you really are and embrace anything and everything, whether failure or success.

“The Way to the Creator is deep-rooted.
Unmoved, it is the source of all movements.
Stable, it enables us to act without rashness.

So, whatever we do, we do not abandon our true nature.
The world around us is riddled with worries and distractions.
We remain stable, steady, and steadfast.

We do not let ourselves be blown to and fro.
Otherwise, we lose touch with who we really are;
or, worse, who the Creator is.”
(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 26)

Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau

THE TAO IN EVERYDAY LIFE